By Hear Courtney
Ever experienced underlying stress or worry stemming from your relationship with God? While health issues, social phobias, debts and family crisis are the common drains on our peace of mind, I’d wager that we worry and have God issues too, and that it impacts recovery and wellness.
What are God issues? -Things like grappling with Who He is and is He Who He is…Things like contemplating His love for us…-Things like measuring our actions whether they are sinful. And when we believe they are sinful we may worry if and when it will we be corrected by Him; accepted or rejected by Him; if He is pleased. -Things like being conflicted over what the Word says about our mental health symptoms, or diagnosis… Or, things like struggling with where we see our relationship with God. “How is it between us, when have I talked to Him last and what has happened since.” (Sara Groves)
How does worrying over God issues impact our recovery and wellness? God issues can busy our minds where we become distracted, have feelings of worthlessness, confusion, and inattentiveness which steal peace of mind and make focusing on anything through prayer a task. Prayer is a unique tool in confronting and easing anxiety, and if our thought life/ relationship concerning the One to Whom we pray is riddled with the noise of guilt, fearfulness, a flood of thoughts, unrest, or nervousness we may avoid prayer and God altogether. Praying itself becomes too much like those other “non- God” issues we actually want to have a conversation with God about!
Some possible undesired self-talk to recognize includes the following:
“I’m worried I still will not know God’s direction once I pray.”
“Who or what will I hear in prayer? Myself, God or other voices?”
“How will I feel during or after I pray?”
“If God cared He would fix it already.”
“Am I only praying because I need something?”…
Our lists go on.
Tip: Come as you are in all aspects of recovery, including prayer.
It matured and challenged me when I allowed a counselor inside my struggles with God- issues. I was worried over many things and could not sort out those things on my own. I lost confidence in prayer, in my ability to pray, in God and in God’s ability to guide and act in my recovery among other things. I feared sounding crazier by exposing my spiritual issues – I had enough day-to-day issues and history to work through as it was. Yet, the counselor handled my needs with compassion and sage wisdom. She normalized the worries I thought were my own and gave me direction I would have forfeited had I kept silent.
You don’t need a perfect mind (whatever that is), perfect actions, or a perfect prayer, to pray for good guidance from God. It may never be perfectly quiet or still or effortless to pray when we are in recovery. Avoiding prayer to decrease prayer related stress may be your current solution if it has been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually challenging to pray or do other activities of daily living.
God issues are prayer opportunities. No God issue is prohibited from being communicated to God. You may need to “pray about” some of what’s been on your mind about God before you “pray about” those things like physical health or family concerns. Look at it like touching first base before going to second or saying hello to your parent before you ask to drive their car. An example may be repenting about a thing you did that you felt bad about doing so your mind is not replaying that thing, and accepting forgiveness before praying concerning a career move that is keeping you up at night.
You can pray about God issues and life issues simultaneously. Some God issues may need continued communication from you to God for an indeterminate time. This is more like having a home library. Sometimes you read a chapter of one book, then the same day you start another book and finish it in a weekend. You don’t have to read one book at a time. For example you may not understand why you lost a loved one when God is all mighty, yet your day-to-day cares concerning friends and family are things you also want to seek God in for counsel, and guidance, and protection. Multi-pray.
You may feel like the dosage of prayer is not working if you are still WORRIED which can lead to more undesired self-talk including feelings of not being worthy or good at prayer. Jump up and catch those thoughts and confront them. Open them like a book and read to them! Prayer over worries is not simply about the problem stopping. We also have to look at our habit of worrying.
If anything, the use of prayer in recovery is more about the worrying stopping, knowing that you are better able to manage life when you are less preoccupied with worries about life. Prayer is not simply about answers or solutions. Prayer is not about trying to cope by forgetting or pushing something out of your mind. Prayer is more about God-guided clarity, confidence, contentment, and consistency relevant to being your whole, best self within the scope of your belief in God. A keeping if you will of our hearts; minds.
Having this kind of clarity, confidence, contentment, and consistency combats worry and changes prayer which changes us and our impacts a major area of our wellness. I can’t guarantee worrying will ever end for anyone. I also don’t 100% prescribe to the “if you’re gonna worry, don’t pray” line, and also would never tell someone keep worrying either. But stress is toxic and worry is stress on stress. So I prefer we reach a place of prayer where we participate in keeping our minds differently. Incorporating the safest healthiest aspects of all dimensions of wellness including our reality of spirituality.
Allow the appropriate member(s) of your support system into this reality and develop a plan to reintroduce or include prayer in your wellness plan. If you have experienced the kinds of challenges we discussed so far, the answer may not be to simply just start praying as you currently understand it. Or, you may feel a big weight is lifted, you have some clarity and motivation, and that the time is now to put prayer back into your life. Whatever the case may be, create some individualized, person-centered steps to take and a follow-up to check how you are doing, and make changes as needed.
In closing, our personal prayer issues do not have to remain unaddressed impediments to being well, when our desire is to pray in recovery. Looking at what thoughts keep us from praying and what we can do personally or with support to address those thoughts is helpful in removing barriers to prayer. As you engage in opportunities to pray you are taking an active part in overcoming the challenges that were also related to mental health.
So don’t get overwhelmed and shut down prayer when you are worried about anything, including God things. Praying from a searching, open place can be good for you! Be kind to yourself concerning your mental health. This by no means for you to be passive concerning wellness- just approaching it with love. A love that is not about a perfect mind or a perfect prayer…but good guidance.
Courtney Chavis
Courtney is a community advocate and an accomplished author. She is also a public speaker who speaks on a range of topics related to power based personal violence. Please visit hearcourtney.com for more information.