I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “you can be alone and not be lonely”. The concept is that you can find company with yourself. It is true. You can be happy being with yourself by yourself. But there are times when that might not be enough, especially if you experience depression. Most of the time when I find myself in that place, I’m only lonely because I can’t talk to a specific person. I find myself feeling empty because I don’t spend enough time with that person, or that person doesn’t put as much effort into our relationship as I would like, or when a person doesn’t want to talk to me all which causes a bigger feeling of emptiness. Have you ever found yourself in this situation? If so, here is what I do to move pass the loneliness.
- Practice Gratefulness!
The first thing I do when I feel lonely is that I remind myself about all of the people in my life who love me. I thank God for family and friends who choose to be a part of my life. I call each person by name. Once I start calling out the names of the people I know who love me, I begin to see exactly how “unalone” I really should feel. The list gets pretty long. Remembering a name causes me to remember why this person is important to me and why I am important to her/him. And, remembering those reasons immediately brings a smile to my face, joy to my heart, and I don’t feel alone anymore.
- Reach Out To People!
I make a specific effort to reach out to people who I want to talk to. If I have a question, I ask it. If I want to give out some information, I distribute it. If I want to discuss an issue, I raise the issue. I don’t care if people respond to my communication or not. I feel better just by doing my part. I don’t carry around conversations I want to have with other people in my mind. That sounds like the behavior of a lonely person. Free yourself…even if it means you are always the first person to initiate the conversation. It is super petty to think, “I’m not calling her because I’m always the one reaching out. She never calls me”. While I do believe that there should be balance in a friendship, l do not think that it is all bad if you find yourself doing most of the initial contact. Would you rather be lonely, or would you rather humble yourself and engage in what could possibly be a good conversation?
- Get Out!
Whenever you begin to feel lonely. Get up and get out! It doesn’t matter where you go just get a change of scenery. If you are lonely staying in the house is a bad idea. You don’t want to feel like you are suffocating or boxed in. Fresh air and a simple walk around the block can make you feel less lonely. There is always a variety of activities going on outside. Any of which should help distract you from how you feel.
You shouldn’t expect yourself to live out a cliché. Sometimes you might get lonely, and you should never feel guilty if you do. Always remember that someone loves you and needs you. No matter how lonely you might feel, you are important to someone. Don’t isolate yourself. Make an effort to reach out to the people you want to talk to. And most importantly, always be grateful for the people God has placed in your life. Remind yourself that you can make it through any obstacle. And as always, let’s press on together!