Life has thrown me a few curve balls. I am sure that you too can relate to experiencing life altering events. Whether it be loss of a loved one, divorce, illness, or financial set-backs, no one can escape life unscathed. We all experience trials and tribulations, but we do not all react to them the same way. Growing up, my father always emphasized for me to protect my character. “Your character is all you have”, he would say. I appreciate this wisdom because it allowed me to develop consistency. This consistency of character has served me well and helps to safeguard my mental health as life presents me with various challenges. One way I protect my character is by trying to stay positive and attempting to find a silver lining in a dark cloud. The best way I know to stay positive is to maintain a heart of thanksgiving.No matter what the challenge, no matter how hurtful, embarrassing or damaging, I always attempt to have a heart of thanksgiving when approaching difficult times. If you were to ask anyone who has giving me any type of life altering news my response to what was said, each person will tell you the same thing, “she said thank you”. You see, no matter what comes or goes, I’ve made it a priority to maintain a heart of thanksgiving (here’s that consistency of character my father instilled in me). I find myself saying thank you in the oddest of situations. If I can’t pay a bill, “thank you”. If someone hurts my feelings, “thank you”. When appliances break, “thank you”. When my children are disrespectful and ungrateful, “thank you”. When I got fired from my job, “thank you”. To be clear, I’m not necessarily saying thank you because I am thankful. (Who would be genuinely thankful about being fired and having to stand in the unemployment line?) The point is this, when nothing else can be done, and you don’t know how to handle the hard times, create an environment of thanksgiving by saying thank you. Thus, shifting the climate of your problem from negative to positive.
I promise, being thankful in the most trying of times will make you feel better and allow you to realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem. The apostle Paul says this, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (I Thessalonians 5:18). When a situation floors me to a loss for words, I follow the directions of Paul and say “thank you”. I have had to prepare myself for the hard times by practicing thankfulness at all times. This way, when times get hard, it is just a natural reaction. Paul did say “in all things” right? Meanwhile, these “thank yous” don’t appear out of thin air, but come from an arsenal of scriptures I have written in my heart. I want to challenge you to learn what the Bible says about being thankful. Jarrid Wilson shares 20 Bible verses on being thankful. Write these verses down and display them in visible places you frequent.
I’m sure that this is not going to be easy for some people. We often react to negativity with negative reactions. This is a habit that can be broken. You just have to practice how to rewire your brain from negative thoughts. We cannot smile and frown at the same time. We make a choice to do either or. People who have or who are battling depression know what it is like to feel numb, disconnected and exhausted. The challenge I had during my most trying time was to fight to maintain my heart of thanksgiving. If you read my previous blog Know the Difference: Depressed vs. Depression, you will learn how someone can have depression and not be depressed. This is what I am challenging you to do. When you feel the weight of your depression, simply say “thank you”. Does that stop the depression? No, it doesn’t. But it changes how we react to our situation. Remember, we can’t change the situation, we can only change how we react to it. Steve Harvey gives a wonderful example of how we can rewire our minds to create a thankful heart. He practices a gratitude meditation every morning. Let’s make a commitment to practice gratitude, even before we get out of bed. Let’s be thankful for everything, and as always, let’s press on together!