If you attend church regularly, then you probably have heard at least one sermon explaining the difference between joy and happiness. For those who might not have heard, yes, there is a difference. The best way I can explain the difference is that happiness is temporary, and joy is eternal. Outside occurrences cause happiness and joy is a gift from God. Material things can make us happy. But what happens when the novelty of material objects fade away? Relationships can make us happy. But what happens if that relationship dissolves? The answer is joy. Joy remains when situations that bring happiness no longer exists because joy comes from God. Having joy is proof that the Spirit of God lives within us. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5: 22-23) It may seem a bit of a paradox, but people who suffer from depression can still have joy. This is because the unseen supernatural power of God’s joy can affect the part of ourselves we can’t see, our soul.
The best parts of a person are the parts that cannot be seen. The spirit and the soul help to define a person’s true character and personality. The soul houses feelings and emotions. If our feelings are housed within a space that cannot be seen, then why do we tend to allow outside circumstances to influence that inward place? It makes sense then, that in order to feel the way God intends for us to feel, we have to accept His gift of joy. (Joy Bible Verses) I recently had the opportunity to participate in a small study session on joy. I received one take-away I would like to share. I discovered a practical way to exercise joy during negative moments.
People often trigger stressors that lead to depressive episodes. Have you ever been hurt by someone you trusted? I have. I’ve experienced genuine hurt that only God can give the strength to forgive. I’ve forgiven these people. I truly have. But, occasionally (without any effort of my own) the person and/or what he/she did to me crosses my mind. Prior to the session I attended on joy, when I would think about the people, I would only attach them to the negative situations and to the pain that they caused me. I would only remember the hurtful things said and done. Therefore, in order to prevent myself from spiraling into a depressed state, I learned to immediately change my thoughts. I thought that was good enough. These are people I haven’t seen or spoken to in years, so disassociating myself with them seemed to be the best solution to maintaining good mental health. I was wrong.
The study session help me to realize that when I only associate these people with negative images, I am robbing myself of an opportunity to activate joy. I was given a challenge. Instead of remembering the hurt, remember the good times in the relationship. Some of you might be thinking, “What a challenge indeed”. Trying to find a good memory in a relationship that might have ended in abuse, infidelity, lies, and sabotage isn’t going to be easy. I admit that mentally preparing for this exercise made me chuckle on the inside. “These people don’t deserve my good memories” I thought. “It’s best to just let the past be the past and move on”. But, the first time I practiced this, I immediately felt different. The good memories are still there. They didn’t go away because the relationship ended. And guess what, they don’t deserve my good memories. I do. I deserve to know that those relationships were not a complete waste of my time. I deserve to allow a place in my heart to remember those good times. I learned years ago to detach myself from the hurt that the people caused me by detaching myself from the people all together. Now, when I think about them, I just remember something funny or something inspiring that they said or did. And those thoughts stir up something in me that cannot be taken away or changed based up the condition of our current relationship. It takes an inward strength to associate good with people who hurt you. That inward strength is God’s gift of joy. People can take away happiness, but they can never take away joy. Don’t allow yourself to loose joy because you don’t want to feel hurt. Instead of associating those negative events with people, replace them with a positive memory. This exercise has reenergized me. Let’s not let our past steal the fullness of our joy. Let’s think on positive things, and as always, let’s press on together!