It’s almost time to turn the clocks back one hour. This time of year is particularly interesting because it introduces a type of depression known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a different type of depression because it is seasonal and more common in the colder, darker seasons. Many people don’t know that they suffer from SAD because symptoms of major depression may be linked to SAD. Before the time changes, I would like to encourage those of you who suffer from depression to pay close attention to any changes you might notice concerning your mental health. We are a month away from the time change. This is a good time to start to journal your mental health prior to the time change. Having a conscious awareness of where you are in regards to your depression before the time changes is important. This information will help identify any changes in behavior the colder seasons might bring.
SAD is a possible depression that anyone could face, but it is not impossible to overcome. When I thought about how I might deal with SAD if it so happens to manifest itself in my life this season, I immediately thought, “relax, relate, release” . If you are a fan of the television series A Different World, then you know exactly what I am talking about. But for those of you unfamiliar or who might have forgotten, this line is giving to Whitley Gilbert by her therapist (played by Debbie Allen). In an effort to calm Whitley down, the therapist encourages her to “relax, relate, release”. If you are like me, you have found yourself saying, “relax, relate, release” from time to time when positioned in a difficult situation. I would like to bring a more clear focus and explanation to what “relax, relate, release” means to me, and how I will incorporate the mantra into my life the upcoming fall/winter seasons.
Relax
The one thing that relaxes me most is a hot shower. Even though I have a great grasp on my depression, there are still times when it’s hard for me to get going. When I begin to sense a lack of motivation creep over me, I immediately hop in the shower. I have learned that the shower is a place where I can be alone and clear my mind. The times that I take a shower to relax are different than the times I shower for personal hygiene. When I use the shower as a tool to manage my depression, I never leave out of the shower until I feel better. I say to myself, “I’m leaving everything in the shower”. That is what works for me. You might have another way to relax. For you, it might be a tub bath, a massage, a pedicure, exercising, listening to music or reading a book. We each have our own means to separate ourselves from the cares of the day. I encourage you to consistently practice your mode for relaxation this season.
Relate
I interpret “relate” as a means to connect. During this season, please make sure that you stay connected to people and places. One thing that helps me with this practice is to commit to something that is greater than myself. I sing with a group of amazing vocalists and musicians. Being committed to this group connects me to one of my favorite hobbies and some of my favorite people. It is difficult to stay inside and isolate myself when I have a rehearsal or a performance. You might not be a part of a singing group, but you are most definitely able to join some type of group or organization. Find a book club, a mommy and me group, or a church home. Commit yourself to doing something where if you don’t participate you will be missed. I promise you, being obligated to doing something is a great way to conquer depressed feelings.
Release
Release…easy to explain but sometimes difficult to do. Here is what experience has taught me. I cannot, if I want to maintain good mental health, hold on to grudges, anger, hate or any other negative emotion. Allowing negativity to guide emotions is draining. It puzzles me how people allow themselves to be angry with loved ones for long periods of time. I can hear a lyric in the song Mine by Beyoncé in my ear, “Are we gonna even make it?…’Cause if we are, we’re taking this a little too far.” Harboring anger towards a family member is really pointless because whenever that anger ends, you will still be family. So, why not allow the anger to end sooner than later. We cannot stop negative emotions from entering our thoughts, but we do have control over how long the thoughts stay. Whenever you feel negative emotions rising, especially towards a loved one, ask yourself, “Are we going to make it?” “Is this relationship long lasting?” “Is there love?” And, if you answer yes to any of these questions, let go of the negativity immediately because holding on to it longer than necessary is taking it a little too far.
There are many different types of depression. Being aware of your mental health status is the only way to ensure you have the tools to fight off depressive states. As we transition into the fall/winter seasons, let’s be aware of SAD. Let’s learn how to “relax, relate, release”. And as always, let’s press on together!