Life is something else; isn’t it? Sometimes things can become so hectic that we don’t know whether we are coming or going. In these moments, it is important to not become stagnate in the confusion. When life gets hectic, or when we don’t know what we should do next, it is easy to just do nothing (especially for people with depression). It is important to know that doing nothing is still doing something. Doing nothing is the same as moving nowhere. It takes courage to move forward, and moving forward in times of difficulty has to happen in order for us to learn more about ourselves. Watching the 2016 Olympic Games, I noticed how athletes displayed this principal through their athleticism. Athletes are fearless. They dive into the pool because they know they won’t drown. They jump over hurdles because they trust they will jump high enough to clear the height. They walk on top of balance beams because they are confident the structure of the beam will hold their weight. If we could only consistently master the ability to dive, jump and leap through life as effortlessly as they, it might be a bit easier to press through depression.
Leap High and Go Over
Facing an impasse is always difficult. No matter how prepared you think you might be, you still have to gauge if you have the resources, momentum and strength to cross over whatever difficulty you might be facing. An impasse can come in many forms, but they almost always present themselves at the most inconvenient times. For example, you could be in college and learn you have an illness. You could be pregnant and going through a divorce. You could be recently married and lose your job. These are examples of tough challenges. However, whatever the obstacle, be sure to know that you can cross it. It might take a few tries to find your rhythm. You might even get knocked down by the magnitude of what is before you. These impasses might even serve as a stressor for depression to creep in. But the most important thing to know when facing one of life’s hurdles is that someone else was able to conquer the same obstacle. And, if they can do it, you can too. I find it helpful to read books that discuss experiences that mirror my own. I encourage you to do the same. Books about depression written by women who have been through the struggle are a wonderful resource. Use their stories as a benchmark for success. Learn from their triumphs and take advantage of being able to learn from their mistakes. Here is a list of 4 Books to Help Black Women Deal with Depression.
Take a Dive
I have a fear of deep water. I can swim, but I will only swim in depths that I can stand with my head above the water. The more I think about this, the more absurd it sounds. Swimming is an activity where your feet never touch the ground. And yet, I find it difficult to do the same thing I am doing in shallow water, in deeper water. I need the assurance that touching the bottom of the pool withy feet offers. I need to know that I am in control of my own safety. That is so much like life. It is hard to move out of our comfort zones sometimes. “Let go.” “Relax.” “Trust your body.” “Trust nature.” These are comments I’ve heard in the pool as others try to beckon me from the shallow water to the deep end.
It is frightening to think about doing something you know you can do without the support you might be accustomed to receiving. But when you know what to do, you should not have to depend on support. You should be able to trust in your ability. A clear way for us to know that we’ve grown is for us to do what we are good at on a larger scale. I hear the words of Jesus, “launch out into the deep.” Expand what you do by not being afraid to share that skill with others. Break away from people, places or things that hinder you from growing. Trust that you are prepared to be in new and different places that are bigger and better. Sometimes we have to take risks and dive in head first.
Balancing it All
I am often asked, “How do you do it?” People are curious to understand how I work a full-time job, several part-time jobs, raise children and still have time to enjoy hobbies and a social life. The answer is, I don’t. I honestly don’t have enough time in my day to complete all the tasks I need to do. And guess what? I’m okay with that. We’ve all heard that you have to create balance in order to get things done. Where I think most people fall short is that sometimes people think creating balance means giving equal time to all the things you need to do. If this is what you are thinking then you have the balancing act of life all wrong. Years ago I went to the doctor because I had severe stomach cramps and I had broken out in a rash. The doctor confirmed what I already knew. My body was reacting to stress. I wasn’t managing my day to day activities in a way that was healthy. The doctor told me to cut back. I answered, “I have a full plate and there isn’t anything I can let go of.” His answer is one that I will never forget. He told me, “put yourself on the plate and everything else that isn’t important will fall off.” That’s the secret to having balance in your life. The key to finding balance isn’t trying to figure out how to complete all of your tasks, but rather to figure out which of these tasks are most meaningful to you. You are at the center of your own balancing act and can adjust the course of your day the way that you think works best for you. Please try not to carry more than you can, or more importantly try not to carry the weight of other people’s burdens. There is no way you can manage all of that and still walk successfully through your day stress free and in good mental health. Listen, once you master the art of control, then you can add more difficulty to your daily routine. You have the potential to do just like a gymnast on a balance beam. You are able to walk through your day with ease and surprise others with a few tricks along the way.
I encourage you to try to think beyond the boundaries of your limitations. You are capable. You are strong. You are courageous. Trust in who you are, and as always, let’s press on together!