This is t
he season of giving. In fact, the message of the season is framed around the word give. Give glad tidings. Give Christmas cheer. Give gifts of love. Give from your heart. And the biblical principle, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) It’s easy to find peace in giving. But how many of us are able to find peace in receiving? It’s harder to receive than to give because many don’t grasp the concept of the gift of receiving. This is especially true when it comes to receiving help to treat depression.
Many people (especially within the African-American community) don’t like to ask for help in regards to treating their depression. In fact, some don’t even want to admit that they are even struggling with the disease. And some that do acknowledge the problem still tend not to want help because they think they are managing fine without it. Since I began working with I Press On, concerned family, friends and even co-workers often approach me for advice on how to convince their loved one to get help. Getting help for a person who is not interested in receiving help can be a major undertaking. But, it’s not impossible. We just have to be a bit more creative than suggesting traditional forms of help such as counseling or group therapy. We have to find ways to work around whatever apprehensions they might have about receiving help. I would like to offer three strategies that might help with this effort.
- Offer Spontaneity
You might not know how to approach a discussion about depression with your loved one. But, you do know how to make that person happy. On any given day, without any prior notification, insist they accompany you for a day out. Go to a movie, out to eat or shopping. Money doesn’t even have to be involved. Take a walk in the park, visit the local library, or go window shopping in the city. The idea is to remove the person from a place of isolation to a place of comfort. Once you participate together in that initial act of spontaneity, offer to make it a regular activity. You really don’t have to say anything at all about the depressive behavior you notice. Actions speak louder than words.
- Start a Book Club
A book club is an awesome way for you and your loved one to have a bit of “therapy” on your own terms. Use a book club as therapy. Listen, I don’t care if the book club consists of just the two of you. Buy a book. Present it to your loved one and say, “let’s read this together”. It really is just as simple as that. Or, you can start a traditional book club. The discussions about the books could lead to epiphanies that might help shape the way that they handle depression. In terms of book selection, I wouldn’t start with a self-help book. That is too overt. I would select fiction books with strong, timeless themes. It might be a good idea to start with books that the person you want to help can identify with most. My absolute favorite book is Sula by Toni Morrison. I like this book because one, it is a quick read. And secondly, it captures the complexity of being an African-American woman perfectly. It deals with colorism, love, friendship and family in such a beautiful way. (Don’t be intimidated that Toni Morrison is the author. I promise you will be able to make it through reading the entire book without a struggle.)
- Read the I Press On Blog!
The I Press On blog is a nonclinical perspective on how to deal with depression. I am by no means a medical doctor, nor do I hold any degrees in mental health. I’m just a regular person dealing with a common disease affected by many who suffer in silence. The I Press On blog serves two groups of people; people who are dealing with depression and people who want to help someone struggling with depression (which includes almost everyone). It is my hope that individuals suffering from depression will be able to connect with the posts. I want to inspire readers to be able to say to themselves in their darkest moments, I’m okay and I’m not alone. After becoming a member of the I Press On blog community, one should begin to build strategies to decide how s/he wants to deal with depression. I most certainly believe in going to therapy and taking medication. I want to alleviate the stigma of those processes. But I also want to offer other strategies that might help some begin their journey and others continue their journey walking through life with depression.
For everyone else. You never know what a person is dealing with. The I Press On blog is a way for you to become more informed about what your loved one might be experiencing. And, in relation to this post, it is a way for you to help that person receive help. Share the blog posts via text message, email or social media.
I hope you find these suggestions useful. I would love to hear feedback on how well (if at all) these strategies worked. No matter what, never let a person struggling with depression feel isolated. Be present in the lives of everyone you meet, and as always, let’s press on together!