An open letter to my beautiful cousin Meriel:
Congratulations on the birth of your first baby! It’s a happy occasion. I’m sure you’ve gotten plenty of advice about how to change his diaper, setting a feeding schedule, or how to share responsibilities with your husband. But I’m pretty positive you’ve gotten little to no advice about post partum depression. Good thing your cousin has an organization that supports depression awareness 😊. So in a family tradition, I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice…advice I wish I had gotten.
1. Don’t be afraid of post partum depression. It really is nothing to be afraid of. Why? One, you don’t know if you are going to get it. And two, if you do get it, you are not alone. There are plenty of resources that will help you heal.
2. If by chance you do get post partum depression, it won’t last. You will get through it.
3. Keep a journal. Journal your feelings so you can identify any changes and the triggers that cause the changes. Start this as soon as possible.
4. Tell your husband if you start to feel an unexplainable lingering sense of saddness. Keep him in the loop. Don’t be embarrassed to share your feelings with him. He’s your most important resource, and the best support you can have.
5. You are just as important as the baby. Don’t ever forget that. Please don’t let yourself go. Don’t sacrifice doing the things that bring you joy out of guilt. I fully expect regular updates on your sorority activities and your high school alma mater. #DeltaSigmaTheta #MilfordMiller
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Parenting is a lifelong commitment. You will have plenty of time to correct mistakes. Making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
7. Most importantly, create a bonding experience with the baby that only the two of you share and do it regularly. Make it a part of his schedule. You aren’t going to know that you have post partum right away (if you get it at all). So while you are still in baby euphoria, make a commitment to bond. When I went through post partum, I would only do for the baby what I felt obligated to do. I would feed her, change her diaper and give her a bath. That’s it. I wish I had incorporated something else into her daily schedule. Maybe you can read together, take a walk outside, cook, draw, listen to music. It doesn’t matter what it is because all he will understand is that “I’m with my mommy”. And making whatever the activity is a part of his routine will almost make you feel obligated to do it everyday. Hence, helping to establish a healthy bond.
Well… there you have it. These are the tips I wish I knew about after I had Carson. Experience is the best teacher, but learning from someone else’s experience is even better.
I’m positive you are and will continue to be a great mom. Once again, congratulations! Please let me know if you ever need anything because
I’m here for you. Let’s press on together!
Love always,
The one and only Sonya Dionne 😊
Welcome to the world, beautiful boy!
